A Prayer for Parents of Gay Children

family praying

This prayer is from Scotty Smith, first posted on The Gospel Coalition.

Psalm 46:1-3, 10-11

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling … “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Dear Lord Jesus, this Scripture seems appropriate in light of the phone call I just finished: a mom and dad in tears, shame, and great confusion—devastated to discover their son is gay. They feel like the earth has given way and the mountains have jumped into the ocean, for the world as they know it has just been turned upside down.

Lord Jesus, there’s no safer or more welcoming refuge than you. You give us strength when hard stories and fresh crises sap our energy and buckle our knees. No one is better suited to provide gracious help for troubled hearts than you. I come boldly to your throne of grace.

I pray for my friends in this situation, whose number seems to be multiplying. They love you and they love their child, but they have no clue what this means or what to do next. Please keep them free from stereotypes, bad information, and uninvited helpers.

Unfortunately, like me, these parents were led to believe that same-sex attraction is the most egregious and twisted form of sin. Because of this, their shock and fear makes them want to assign responsibility and find someone to blame, and that’s become one another. Bring your centering peace and powerful grace to bear, Lord Jesus. More than anything else they need you and the grace and wisdom you promise. They’re not the point, you are—and loving their son well is of preeminent importance.

In the next hours and days, calm their hearts and give them kindness beyond their own—your kindness. Understandably, there’s palpable tension and uncertainly in the home right now. I pray for a bridge of compassion and communication. Help them see their son not as a leper, but as their beloved son. Don’t let them objectify him, Jesus. Help them love him as a sinner-saint like they are, not as someone to fix. The gospel, not shame, must prevail.

And I pray for their son, Jesus. Help me know how to best serve and care for him. He’s confused about you now that he’s convinced of his homosexuality. Bring your mercy and grace to bear in powerful ways. Keep him far from those who would try to exploit his vulnerability—especially from those with evil intent.

The effects of the fall play out in our lives in so many ways—all kinds of broken sexuality, the idolatry of greed, and the lust for power, to name a few. Though this young man’s story, sin, and weakness are different than mine, I don’t need you any less than he does. Help me make that clear as we lean into this next season together. I ask for healing and deliverance for both of us. So very Amen I pray, in your gracious and powerful name.

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4 responses to “A Prayer for Parents of Gay Children

  1. Thank you for that prayer, we are just past a year since we got that phone call, and life as we knew it has almost returned to “normal”. I am just holding on to God and continuing to encourage my daughter to rekindle her relationship with the Lord. I know in my heart that she is in the Lords hands and only He can heal and restore her. I hate that homosexuality seems to be the “worst” sin. My eyes have been opened to how much sin is in our world and how much we accept and overlook. As Christians, we should take time to pray for and with every sinner, but we tend to turn the other way or shake our heads in disgust when we see homosexuality. Father help us all know how to deal with this and how to grow closer to you through whatever kind of sin is affecting our lives. J

  2. Since I had my conversation with my son of his ssa I have come to realize that in some way it is a blessing. Sounds CRAZY, but I feel closer to my Lord, feel more peace and I know this is an opportunity for Jesus to show how powerful he is. I count irt a blessing that he has chosen us to go thru this walk.

  3. I know he is going to deliver my son and our faith is growing. We refuse to allow the enemy to work in our lives and we are taking a closer look at how we have over looked our own sins because they are socially acceptable.

    • i hear you, we too as a family have noticed the things in our lives that we have overlooked. Just because something is more accepted doesn’t make it ok. I have grown closer to the Lord and thankfully, it has brought my husband and I closer not split us apart. I like your comment about being a blessing to go through this walk together.

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