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Before I begin this new post, I want to sort of start where we left off previously. I want to clarify my position, in case there is any confusion of where I stand on the issue of homosexuality and being born with it.

I do not believe that people are born with a homosexual gene, nor are people born gay. This is my opinion, though I also think that this particular part of the debate is null and void especially since both sides of the science field can’t determine if there is or isn’t a gay gene. In saying this, I also don’t believe that homosexuality is a choice, anymore than babies choosing their eye color. I never chose to have homosexual feelings, nor did I ever choose to struggle with lusting after men. Where I do believe the choice comes in for homosexuals is when they choose to act upon their feelings and desires. The relationships I had with men, both emotional and physical, where relationships I chose to be in. When the struggles came against me, even when I was a Christian, I chose to give in and submit to my heart’s desires.

I don’t know what exactly causes homosexuality, though I do know (and believe) that certain factors do play into a person being homosexual. I also realize that each story is different, so when it seems I’m generalizing the situation I am only doing so to speak generally about homosexuality. My story is different from the next person’s. This blog, these articles, and the ministry of six11 is based off of my own personal testimony, and the testimony of those whom I have interacted with over the years. I hope this begins to clear up any confusion you may have.

In response to a comment related to my last post (the 411.pt.1.), I’ve decided to talk about the following question in this post: What’s up with the GOD and the Bible?

If you haven’t noticed already from reading this blog, I am a Christian. I have come to the hard-core belief that the Bible is GOD’S Word and the way of life. As 2 Timothy 3:16-17 states, I believe that:

All scripture is GOD-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man (woman) of GOD may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Likewise, I also believe strongly in the message of Hebrews 4:12-13, which states:

For the Word of GOD is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from GOD’S sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of HIM to whom we must give account.

I have come to hold firmly to these beliefs because of the evidence I have seen in my own personal life in regards to who GOD is. I trust who HE says HE is, and I trust the source of HIS claims (the Bible). I realize there is a huge debate, increasing more over time, centered around the authority and reliability of the Bible. Questions like “who wrote the Bible”, “how did the Bible come about”, “can we really trust the Bible and those who put it together”, etc. And all of these questions are acceptable to ask/have. While no one really argues about the questions, the debate about this issue revolves around the given answers.

Often, if not all the time, the answer you conclude about the Bible’s reliability ties to the answer you give to another question: Does scripture condemn homosexuality and homosexuals? Again, a valid question that fuels debate because of the answers that are given. So let’s tackle one question at a time.

How did we get the Bible, is it reliable, and so forth?  The Bible was assembled by various religious leaders back in late 300 AD.  They compiled the books together based on certain criteria such as: the apostolic authorship (was it written by an apostle), did the doctrine and story flow together/make sense, and did other books refer to such teachings.  The validity of the Old Testament, and everything that is written in it, can be summed by the words of CHRIST HIMSELF: “‘Everything must be fulfilled that is written about ME in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms’.  Then HE (JESUS) opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures” (Luke 24:44-45).  The term scriptures here refers to the Hebrew Bible, which consisted of everything in our Old Testament.  It should be noted that every book of the Old Testament is alluded to except the book ‘Song of Solomon’.

So when it came time to put the Bible together, the leaders already knew the validity of the Old Testament scriptures.  The New Testament was put together based more so on who wrote the particular book, why was it written, and what was contained in the given book.  What we have has been tried and tested, and the books we have in the New Testament scriptures are validated by the other authors and books.  The books that have not been accepted (The Gospel of Thomas and the like) have been avoided because the information they attain in neither relevant nor reliable.  When does JESUS, Paul, or Peter refer to the Gospel of Thomas; or when does the Gospel of Thomas refer to the other books within the New Testament?  Just because a ‘famous’ person’s name is signed to the bottom of a letter/book, doesn’t mean that it is reliable information.  I can write my own book about JESUS, bury it somewhere over in the Holy Land, have them dig it up and profess it be added to the scriptures.  Does it make it reliable?  No.  The spiritual weight of the letter/book holds more value than who really wrote it.  Thomas’s work contradicts what the other books say.  But now we’re getting off topic and loosing our focus.

The process of acquiring the Bible was not a quick-easy process, but rather a long and daunting process.  Quoting from E. Harrison (no relation) from his book Introduction to the New Testament, he writes, “The councils certified the canon (both Old and New) that was already widely acknowledged in the Church.  The councils gave public and united testimony to that which the Church has long known, used and cherished as its authoritative guide” (p. 103).

In understanding how we got the Bible, one also needs to understand (and believe) that the writers of the Bible (Moses, Samuel, the prophets, the apostles, Paul, etc) were fully inspired by GOD to do so. Yes, man is not perfect and the ability to mess up is very likely. But you also need to believe and trust that GOD, who is perfect and doesn’t mess up, gave the correct information to these people and made sure that all was written correctly - even down to the translators of today’s Bibles, like the NIV, Message, NASB, etc. Hebrews 11:1 says that “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see“. I have never seen GOD stretch out HIS hand and write the words found in the Bible, nor have I ever seen translators translate the Bible. But I have talked with one man who did translate part of the New Testament (for the NIV) and I respect and agree with his theology. More over, and this is even more important than my friends testimony, I am certain and believe firmly that GOD’S Word is/was “GOD-breathed” (2 Timothy 3:16). I agree with what 2 Peter 1:16-21 says, where he writes:

We did not follow cleverly invented stories when we told you about the power and coming of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, but were eye witnesses of HIS majesty … Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from GOD as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

I believe that GOD’S Word is inerrant and infallible, because I have tested it and have had it prove me wrong time and time again throughout my life. I have seen the power of GOD found within the pages of HIS Word; and I have seen the glory of GOD come alive through the reading, studying, and understanding of HIS Word. I believe GOD’S Word is valid and true because I have found it to be reliable through my own story, trials, and triumphs. You may have a different story, but either way, your story cannot refute my own. Only GOD can refute our stories; so I pray that HE enlightens us to the Truth - HIS Truth, and not our own.

Secondly, what does the Bible say about homosexuality? Accepting that the Bible is true, and that GOD’S Word is without error, one then has to believe that what GOD said about homosexuality is also true: homosexuality is a sin. Our church has recently been discussing this issue actually, and during one of the meetings a lady within our church made this valid point: why is homosexuality the only sin in the entire Bible that’s been misinterpreted? Out of all the other sins and things mentioned in the Bible, why is homosexuality the only word that is misunderstood? How can this be so?

Yes the scriptures that speak out against homosexuality have been used to abuse people - myself included. I know how hurtful and damaging these pieces of scripture have been. For that, please let me take a moment and express my sincere apology to all of those who’ve been hurt by these passages spoken through ungraceful and unmerciful mouths. Scripture was never meant to wound people; rather it was meant to bring people closer to GOD, not drive them further from HIM. I’m sorry it has done such to so many people.

In the same manner though, I can’t overlook what GOD has said about the practice of homosexuality - just like I can’t overlook what GOD has said about any sin or lifestyle that doesn’t coincide with HIS standards. I have read certain comments/articles from the site religioustolerance.org and while I support their willingness to express all sides of the issue equally, I still don’t agree with their stance on the issue of homosexuality and the Bible. I do not support the pro-gay theology that is beginning to rise in popularity all over the place. I do not support the ideas that GOD’S Word is wrong in regards to the issue of homosexuality. I do not support or believe that GOD has contradicted HIMSELF is banning homosexuality practice for a time and then allowing it from then on.

I do believe that GOD clearly states that the practice of homosexuality is wrong, and that GOD’S desire for mankind is to have healthy heterosexual relationships with the opposite sex (be it a married life or a celibate life). I believe fully in the scripture 1 Corinthians 6:11, in which GOD offers hope and freedom to those who want it. Those who struggle with homosexuality are able, I believe, through GOD’S grace and power, to live heterosexual lives through marriage or a celibate life; and that the practice of an active homosexual lifestyle is wrong. I don’t believe, nor do I believe the Bible states this, that homosexuality equals a married heterosexual life. Rather, just as Exodus and some other ex-gay ministries conquer, the point of walking away from homosexuality is for the person to walk out of brokenness and into wholeness found within JESUS CHRIST. Had GOD not told me to get married, I wouldn’t be married right now (I am thankful that I am married, don’t get me wrong). But the point of my wholeness isn’t marriage, nor is it to be a heterosexual stud, rather the point of my wholeness is JESUS. Just as everyone’s point of wholeness is JESUS.

The Bible is clear in challenging us to move from a selfish lifestyle to a life that is GOD-focused. Time and time again, GOD calls us forth from our old way of life, from a life that is broken, to a life that is new and whole which is found only within HIM (John 15). This applies to the adulterous spouse, to the liar, to the gambler, to the drunkard, to the idol worshiper, to the practicing homosexual, to the devious heterosexual. GOD’S call on mankind’s life is holiness and wholeness. This call sheds no discrimination on sexual preference or sexual orientation - both homosexual and heterosexuals are commanded to follow such a standard.

This is the Bible’s view concerning the issue of homosexuality and for those who struggle with homosexual desires (again, no different than anyone else’s choice of sin). To believe whats written here, though, you must first believe the previous question’s answer: is the Bible reliable and accurate - yes.

So far we’ve talked about how while homosexuality may or may not be inborn, a person still makes a conscience choice to act upon their homosexual desires. And that the Bible is a reliable source when it comes to the stance of homosexuality, and every other issue (especially sin). We talked about how GOD does state homosexuality is a sin, but that HE offers freedom and wholeness, in JESUS, from one’s broken life if they so chose it. Next I want to talk about the issue of ex-gay ministries. Thanks for reading.

Regardless of which side is doing it, I don’t agree with groups boycotting each other. I mean really, what’s the point? Both sides end up losing ground in the process: one side looses the actual battle, and the other side looses their integrity. In my opinion anyways.

Though nothing makes my blood boil more than a group of Christians who take a boycotting stand against a group/company they don’t agree with. I honestly don’t understand why this happens, and how they can rightfully justify their actions. Now, before I loose some of you, let me state what I am advocating for. I am not advocating to allow immoral life to triumph over moral life, nor am I advocating that Christians sit back and allow the world to fall apart. Though what I am advocating is that the Christian community begins to handle itself a bit more professionally; a bit more dignified; a bit more like JESUS.

Let’s face it, the Christian community is all too quick in rallying together a boycott of someone/something that they don’t agree with. Yet, I have not found a scripture, by JESUS, Paul or Peter, that calls us to do such action against those who we are at odds with. Though, I do see all three men constantly pushing us to be light in a dark world, to be witnesses and forerunners of a new way of life, and to be salt in a seemingly bland culture (Matthew 5:13-16, 1 Peter 2:12). Yet, if we really stop and look at ourselves, are we doing just that, or have we rewritten parts of the gospel to attend to our own itching ears?

I bring all of this up because I just finished reading an article about a Christian boycott on McDonald’s. Apparently the company has joined the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, which aides in fighting for fairness in LGBT businesses (click here for more). According to the American Family Association, they state the following:

AFA has asked for a boycott of McDonald’s restaurants because of the company’s promotion of the gay agenda. AFA asked McDonald’s to remain neutral in the culture war. McDonald’s refused. “This boycott is not about hiring gays or how gay employees are treated. It is about McDonald’s choosing to put the full weight of their corporation behind promoting their agenda,” the AFA alert said. To read the full article, click.

So, going to the NGLCC site and clicking on the Corporate Partners link, I found McDonald’s name listed as a corporate partner, just like the above article said I would. But you know, I found several other corporate partners listed too. And I thought, “Wow, are we going to boycott all of these companies too?” Should I stop using computers, because Intel is a founding partner of the NGLCC. And then there’s Wells Fargo, Motorola, and American Express who are also founding partners. Going down the page, under the corporate partner section (where McDonald’s is listed) you’ll find Citi Cards/Bank, Burger King, Kodak, AT&T, UPS, Capital One, Johnson & Johnson, Xerox, Coors Light, Office Max, Century 21, ACME, etc. What would we actually gain if we boycotted all of these companies and services?

The above article’s title sends a strong message, “McDonald’s: Christian boycotters ‘hate’ homosexuals”. And even if this isn’t our exact message, this is the message that the world around us hears every time we pick up a protest sign or call for another boycott. ‘There’s those Christians again; always hating and making a ruckus of judgment. How long will the boycott last this time?’

What’s my point? I would be the first to speak out against the lies of homosexuality, and to stand up for the truth of GOD - please understand this. But I honestly do not think that by the Church boycotting the gay agenda and its supporters of such, that much will actually change. I mean seriously, who gives any amount of time to a group of people that are constantly yelling in your face about how wrong you are and how what you stand for is stupid? How are we helping the world to better understand the truth of CHRIST; when did yelling your agenda at someone ever win them to CHRIST?

In 2 Corinthians 3, Paul talks about an interesting point between the believer and unbeliever. He basically says that for all those who are not believers, there’s this veil that covers their hearts (v. 3:15), as if to hide them from understanding the Truth - which is JESUS. He then says that all believers, those who understand the Truth, don’t have these veils hindering them from such Truth, because they are free to understand and embrace such truth through JESUS. Then Paul says something that is pretty awesome, “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect (contemplate) the LORD’S glory, are being transformed into HIS likeness …” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

When the Church boycotts the world, especially over petty issues as the given article, I believe we’re tying the world’s veil tighter around their eyes, because frankly, we’re not really being JESUS to them - if you really think about it. Nor are we helping them to better understand the Truth; the very one that has set us free from ignorance and hostility (Ephesians 2). Buying a Big Mac at McDonald’s doesn’t mean that you’re for gay marriage, just like driving fast doesn’t mean your a Nascar fan. Instead, I wonder, how often do you pray about the situations going on in the world? How involved are you in being part of the solution instead of being just another leg of the problem? Why does it seem that the Church (Christians) cares more about certain issues, like gay marriage and boycotting companies that support them, then caring about the homeless population that is increasing each day. Or about the orphaned children of the world? Why don’t we “boycott” the Internet, in hopes to get porn off of it so innocent teens don’t continue to get addicted to sexual immorality? Why don’t we “boycott” places that allow child prostituation to go on within their countries? I hope you’re getting my point.

We’ve grown into a community of people that boycotts at the drop of a hat, and we always manage to forget our Bibles at home on the book shelf. We boycott for the wrong reasons, slapping on our signature “… in JESUS”, and then wonder why our churches are loosing ground in today’s culture. Why people are so tired of religion and it’s message. Why many think that GOD and HIS followers are two very different people.

As the veil continues to be lifted from our eyes and hearts, may we continue to be transformed into the likeness of CHRIST, and in doing so, may we help those around us better understand the true message of HIM who shines through us.

I want to write a few posts about the basics of homosexuality - from my standpoint, as both one who lived within the lifestyle and who has lived out of the lifestyle. I want to offer some advice and insight, that maybe you have heard before and maybe you’ve never known about. In each post I want to offer both sides of the picture, with the hope of grasping a larger and clearer view of what homosexuality is and what it’s not.

These posts will also be in response to a previous post I did, ‘Two Views‘. Again, these are my thoughts. When I’ve used other resources I will link you to them to read for yourself.

To start this conversation, let’s talk about the following question: Is homosexuality like a light switch?

My first response is to say loudly “NO!”; but I understand that this question needs to be explained with a bit more time and detail. So here we go.

The above question could be translated into a couple versions: what is homosexuality, what causes homosexuality, homosexuality 101, and the ever popular is homosexuality inborn or a choice? I call these arguments ‘the light switch question’. Everyone, including those who are homosexual (and who struggle with it), wants to know what causes people to have homosexual feelings. And over the years, this debate has been blown out of the waters by both sides - the pro-gay movement says, ‘people are born this way’; while the other side says, ‘people choose to be this way’. Both sides have used experts to defend their answers; both sides have testimonies of how ex-gay ministries have worked and have failed; both sides make valid points. But only one side is correct … which is hard to state without being bias and being accused of being bias. Here’s what’s been said so far.

According to a pamphlet/book entitled The Roots and Causes of Male Homosexuality and Mike Haley’s book 101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality, there have been several scientific studies done to determine the exact cause of homosexuality. One case, done in 1991, focused on brain structure between homosexual and heterosexual men. While the case study seemed convincing and helpful, a few flaws weakened the results. In fact, according to Haley’s book, the scientist who did the study, Simon LeVay, even spoke out against his own study, saying, “I did not prove that homosexuality is genetic. Nor did I locate a gay center in the brain … time and again I have been described as someone who ‘proved that homosexuality is genetic’ … I did not” (p. 190, The Sexual Brain p. 122).

Another case, done also in 1991, focused on identical and fraternal twins. The study stated that homosexuality was linked to more identical twins then fraternal. The big problem though was that all the twins grew up together. This was a problem because the researchers didn’t do studies on twins who grew up apart from each other. There are several other factors that go into a person having homosexual feelings, such as family upbringing and various relationships. There was no way to determine if these factors played into the case study results. And, as the pamphlet/book (named above) stated, “if the study showed that homosexuality in twins was purely genetic, then both of the twins would have been homosexual 100% of the time” (p. 6).

Another case, done in 1993, focused on the X-Chromosome. Just like the previous studies before, there were flaws to be seen. Ranging from a narrowly selected control group to the scientist of the study finally claiming that his study didn’t “produce what [they] originally hoped to find” (Haley, p. 192; The Science of Desire p. 104).

Even after all the science jargon and debates, many are still left confused at which side is correct - again, without sounding bias. As I said earlier, while the ex-gay side exposes the myths behind the above case studies, the pro-gay side equally exposes the myths behind the ex-gay stance and ministry. It’s a constant tug-of-war between right and wrong; and the more both sides rise up with new material, the more the sides are being evenly split. Frankly, it’s a mess. But, nonetheless it’s a mess that needs to be made in order for some sort of sanity about homosexuality is to be had.

Is homosexuality like a light switch? I wish it was … I really do … but I’m afraid it’s more complex than that. As noted above in the second case study, there are several factors that go into one being homosexual - one who expresses themselves as being attracted to the same sex. Taking the inborn debate out of the picture, the next two big issues that play in a person’s sexual identity is the family environment they grow up in and the relationships that particular person engages in - or doesn’t engage in. If a child is not affirmed in their sexuality at a young age, this can have a damaging effect on them as they grow; if a child is abused, molested, and such by a person of the same sex, this can have a damaging effect on them as they grow; if a child is rejected by same-sex peers (and/or parent), this can have a damaging effect on them as they grow … etc. The beginning years/stages of a child’s life is vital, as it’s in these years that they start to embrace who they are as a person full circle. If one piece is hindered from being embraced - such as a clear affirmation of who they are as a man or woman - the entire ‘circle’ struggles to find stability. A great resources to helping you understand these cycles and such can be found here and here.

My personal statement about the light switch question, is this: regardless if I was born with a gay gene or not, I still chose to act upon my homosexual feelings.  Being a Christian also holds some major weight to this question as well.

Before I was a Christian, I believed that yes I was born this way … because from my earliest memories I have been attracted to men.  I never felt affirmed as a man growing up, so I looked at other guys and wished I could be like them - that I could be ‘manly’ like them.  I fell prey to being sexual at an early age, thus becoming confused about these strange feelings and images.  Then before I knew it, I had had my first sexual experience with a male; sadly my desires to be like other men now became sexualized, and my feelings towards men took on a whole new meaning.  So naturally I just accepted that what I was and how I felt were things that I was born with - because I certainly didn’t choose to feel these things.  I didn’t just wake up one day and flip the ‘light switch’ on and say, “I’m gay today”.

After becoming a Christian (after many years in the gay life), I realized and understood that we are all born with certain tendencies - some being useful and some being harmful.  In reading the Bible, and believing in what the Bible says, we see that we are all born with a sinful nature - a free-will nature that allows us to do what is wrong according to GOD’S standards.  Being born with a sinful nature we are all prone to act upon temptations that come our way - greed, lying, stealing, adultery, lust, etc - but we are also prone to not act upon these temptations.  This is how free-will works: GOD gives us a choice to either do what is right or do what is wrong.  Even though I am born with a sinful nature I still chose to act upon it - much the same way I still chose to act upon my homosexual temptations.

Just because one is born with a particular tendency doesn’t mean that they don’t have the power and choice not to act upon those feelings.  Take people who are prone to becoming alcoholics - they have a choice to drink or not to drink.  Say there was a gene that caused people to drive through red lights.  Should be accept this behavior?  Not according to our laws.  Just because some drive through the red light doesn’t mean they aren’t accountable to the laws that have been set into place.  The same with drinking too much … the same for anything that goes against the laws that have been set up to guide us - especially those in the Bible.

Is homosexuality like a light switch - no, it’s not something that people can turn on or off at any given moment.  But as a child of GOD, we have the choice and power, through CHRIST, to not fall prey to our temptations and desires.

Here is a link to a message given by John Freeman on the Steve Brown Etc. radio show.  John Freeman is the Executive Director of Harvest USA, a ministry based in Pennsylvania and Tennessee that strives to equip the church in reaching out to the homosexual community.

I have been apart of Harvest USA personally and have benefited greatly from their ministry - so Harvest USA comes highly recommended.

If you have read my previous book review of “The Game Plan”, by Joe Dallas, you already know that I love this book — by the way, more book reviews are coming.

Here are two quotes that have been hitting me across the face:

You can’t love someone you’re not intimate with … plenty of men have a relationship with GOD but not much intimacy with HIM … while they live a somewhat Christian lifestyle, they lack the vibrant, growing intimacy with CHRIST that marks a true disciple. (page 46)

Training is a cooperative effort between GOD and man. We see this principle throughout the Bible, when GOD calls a man to a purpose and says, in essence, “Here’s the goal. This is what MY part is in achieving it; here’s your part.” Of course, we’re not equals in our partnership with GOD, and HE doesn’t need us to fulfill HIS purposes. But in HIS wisdom, HE’S chosen to include us in them. And so, when fulfilling them, we trust HIM to do what we cannot do, and HE entrusts us to do what we can. (page 136, bold emphasis mine)

The last quote comes from a chapter that begins to talk about training ourselves to stay away from temptation, especially when it’s pressed upon our eyes/faces. To begin, Dallas reiterates his previous points about making sure we’re taking our ‘daily meds’; this is where the first quote is taken from. And this is what I have forgotten to do.

I’m a mess when I don’t take my medicine - literally. I have been dealing with depression since I was a teen, and finally (about three years ago) I was put on Prozac to help stable my moods and mind. So far, so good. But like I said, when I forget to take my ‘happy pill’ for the day, I’m not so happy for the next two days. In the end, I suffer and those who encounter me suffer for those days - particularly my wife and kids. The same thing can be said about missing out on my ’spiritual meds’.

I need JESUS everyday. It’s a simple fact that is vital to my daily survival, and a simple fact that is so often over looked. I need JESUS. Everyday. No debate needed. When I don’t ‘take’ HIM, I’m a mess for the day; and I’m not guaranteed a good day of survival either.

I’m what you would call a messy Christian: lust, images, thoughts, curse words, bad memories, bad jokes, and the like plague my mind daily. And it’s not just once a day, but it’s throughout the day. I am ashamed sometimes when I’m called a ‘Youth Pastor’, because I know what I’m capable of - and if what I’m capable of ever really gets out, trust me, people won’t be calling me ‘Pastor’ for long. This is not to say that I’m a loose cannon that’s ready to expload any second; rather this is to say, how I view myself is quite different than how others view me. And I think this is the case for all of us. What this is also stressing is my point of needing JESUS everyday.

In needing HIM, I need to be taking my daily meds - and not just the Prozac or a simple, quick ‘GOD, thanks for today, amen’ type of prayer either. Dallas lays out what meds need to be taken each day, preferably in the morning before your day actually starts:

• 5-10 minutes of reading scripture (from a particular book of the Bible, or random passages)
• 5-10 minutes in prayer with GOD (offering worship, confession, petitions, and your silence)
• 2 minutes of recommitting yourself to GOD for the day (”Today I choose 24-hours of sexual purity and integrity”, or something like that)
• 2 minutes to read over the (30) reasons why you are choosing purity and integrity for today

These are not cure-all medications that if taken once a week will help you stay ‘healthy’. These are medications that need to be taken daily - seriously and honestly - between GOD and you. This is your part of the deal (re-read the second quote from above). GOD will honor HIS commitment, and HE expects you to keep yours too.

Here are my 30 reasons to walk in purity and integrity, each day:

1. my wife
2. my daughter
3. my son
4. my marriage
5. my relationship with GOD
6. my ministry
7. for those who watch me
8. because I’m a leader
9. because I’m a disciple
10. because GOD has called me
11. my healing
12. my heart
13. my relationships
14. my mind
15. my eyes
16. my integrity
17. my witness
18. cause I’m a worshiper
19. for growth
20. for wholeness
21. cause I’ve been set free
22. cause of what JESUS did
23. my depression and health
24. my attitude
25. GOD dwells in me
26. JESUS dwells in me
27. the Holy Spirit dwells in me
28. my wife
29. my daughter
30. my son

What’s your 30 reasons to walk in purity and integrity, each day? How often do you ‘take your meds’? There’s another quote from Dallas that screams conviction:

Some men make the mistake of waiting for GOD to give them impulse control when, in fact, HE already has. They’re just not using it. (page 137).

I don’t want to be one of those men. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines, blabbing my petty excuses to the Coach (GOD) on why I can’t play in the game today - my head hurts, I don’t feel well, I’m tired, I’ve got other things to do, I deserve to sit out and rest today, etc. If I truly want intimacy with GOD, then I need to get into the game and work for it. I need to go after it like my life depends on it - and in some cases, it does depend on it. At the end of the day, I want to go to bed with my wife knowing that I battled for purity and integrity hard that day - for her, our kids, and my GOD. And I didn’t wimp out. I fought beside GOD, with HIS armor and tools, against our enemy of enemies - and we won (Ephesians 6:10-18; Hebrews 4:12).

This is not to say that I won’t ever be tempted - because unless I’m dead and in the ground, I will always be tempted - but this is to say that I’m refusing to fall to my temptations, especially without an honest, well fought fight. LORD help me … I don’t want to wimp out. I want to be a man of GOD … a man after GOD’S heart.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
YOUR perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know YOU are near

And I will fear no evil
For my GOD is with me
And if my GOD is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus)
Oh no, YOU never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, YOU never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, YOU never let go
Lord, YOU never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know YOU here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise YOU, still I will praise YOU

(Chorus 2x’s)

This is where I am. Hold me tight JESUS … may I never stop holding on.

I will praise YOU, O LORD, with all my heart; before the “gods” I will sing YOUR praise.

I will bow down toward YOUR holy temple and will praise YOUR name for YOUR love and YOUR faithfulness, for YOU have exalted above all things YOUR name and YOUR word.

When I called, YOU answered me; YOU made me bold and stouthearted.

Nearing the end of my time in the prayer room, I read psalm 138, and I was drawn to the words “YOU” in the first three lines. Powerful. Do I fully understand this message, I thought. Do I really comprehend what David is saying here? And, more importantly, do I agree with what’s being said here? Continuing on with where I left off from the last post about intimacy …

as i walked home [that] night from the prayer room, i had another thought in mind, “what idols do i adore more than HIM?” truth be told, i have idols in my life - i have other gods that i cling to in certain times of the day. so what am i going to do with them? how intimate am i going to be with them? i am created to be a lover and a worshipper … but not a lover and worshipper of many gods, but only one GOD.

I began thinking back to the first Commandment: You should have no other gods but ME (Exodus 20). Period. GOD doesn’t even give us an option of the possibility of choosing another god to worship or hold on to. No other gods. None. Period. So knowing that I have known idols in my life, psalm 138 verse 1 hits me pretty hard.

Again, David writes: before the “gods” I will sing YOUR praise. David isn’t hiding from GOD the truth that he does in fact have other gods/idols in his life - GOD knows it, and David knows GOD knows. So instead of hiding what is already known, David comes clean and basically says, ‘Yeah GOD I have other gods I tend to worship throughout the day’. But David goes on to also say, that in spite of these other gods, he will choose to sing the praises of Jehovah GOD - the One True GOD - only … and only HIM. David makes it clear which GOD was going to get his praise: Jehovah.

When we are faced with our own idols and gods, whom do you bow to worship: them or Jehovah?  Whom do we desire more: them or Jehovah?  What makes our hearts beat faster: them or Jehovah?  When you are before your gods, will you choose to bow before them, or will you tell them off by praising your true GOD Jehovah?

Intimacy with GOD.  How bad do I really want it?

But the man who loves GOD is known by GOD.  1 Corinthians 8:3

Come near to GOD and HE will come near to you.  James 4:8 // Return to ME, and I will return to you.  Malachi 3:7

“For I know the plans I have for you“, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon ME and come and pray to ME, and I will listen to you.  You will seek ME and find ME when you seek ME with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD.  Jeremiah 29:11-14

What other gods that we daily entertain have ever made us a promise like the one above?  What other gods have ever satisfied our life completely, that we’ve gone to them and said, ‘Thanks … I’m full now’.  What other gods have ever made us feel truly alive … ever made us feel that life was worth living for … ever feel that you were worth some much more than what you’ve been giving yourself credit for?  What other gods have made you whole?

None.  None other than Jehovah.  So what are we really waiting for?  What’s stopping us from enjoying those intimate times with HIM?  HE’S made the promises to be there … we just need to RSVP … ASAP.

its a word i use but can’t define.

i want it to be the beat of my heart towards FATHER-GOD. as i want HIM to define me, so i also want HIM to define our intimacy:

• its level and depth
• its passion
• its desire
• its will
• its devotion
• its time
• its standard
• its place
• its object

how HE defines it is how i want to live it.

this is from a journal entry i did last night inside our churches 24/7 prayer room. the word intimacy really struck me last night. i wasn’t sure if it was even used much in the bible … according to the skimmed-down-concordance in the back of my bible anyways. so i looked up some references for the word ‘know’ - as in to know, be known, etc. below is a list i found, and it is no way exhaustive at all. but it’s a list nonetheless that is causing my heart to wonder, “what is intimacy … and how do i get more of it”.

KNOW // INTIMACY: Psalm 46:10, Psalm 139, Jeremiah 24:7, Jeremiah 29:11-14, John 10:14, John 15 (remain//intimate), John 17:3, Philippians 3:10, 2 Timothy 1:12, 2 Timothy 2:19, I John 2:3-6, 1 John 3:16.

i then did a quick search for the word intimacy on biblegateway.com, under the heading “amplified bible” and this verse popped up: But if one loves God truly [ with affectionate reverence, prompt obedience, and grateful recognition of His blessing], he is known by God [ recognized as worthy of His intimacy and love, and he is owned by Him]. 1 Corinthians 8:3

the niv puts it this way: But the man who loves GOD is known by GOD.

and i stopped searching for the meaning of intimacy … because i think this says it simply enough. the one who loves GOD - and nothing more than GOD - is the one known by GOD - in the most intimate of ways. that my friend is freakin sweet! and that’s my hearts desire - even though i stray back and forth more than a drunk man on skies going down a steep icy hill in the pitch black … blindfolded.

psalm 139 speaks volumes about GOD knowing us on intimate levels; going through great lengths to form us and keep us close to HIM. i re-read it last night, and for some reason, though i have read this psalm hundreds of times, the meaning of the words hit me like it was my first time reading them. i love how scripture does that to you. as i read psalm 139 and became awe struck, the GOD of the known universe - the infinite GOD of all time and space-the GOD almighty - took great time in making me (in making you). if you were to do CSI work on your insides, you would find GOD’S fingerprints all over you. that’s amazing!?!

if i could craw up into GOD’S ’skin’ i would … i want to be that close to HIM. i’m messy as all get out … i want to know HIM. and it’s not one of those, “yeah i know GOD”, rather it’s one of those, “yeah i KNOW GOD … and HE knows me … we’re that tight”.

as i walked home last night from the prayer room, i had another thought in mind, “what idols do i adore more than HIM?” truth be told, i have idols in my life - i have other gods that i cling to in certain times of the day. so what am i going to do with them? how intimate am i going to be with them? i am created to be a lover and a worshipper … but not a lover and worshipper of many gods, but only one GOD.

then i read psalm 138 …

I received this message from Exodus Youth:

Exodus Youth Analyst Mike Ensley will be interviewed on The Alan Colmes Show at 11:00 p.m. EST. He will be discussing his recent article, What To Do If Your Child is Gay, which was published in this month’s edition of Charisma magazine and will be debating gay activist Wayne Besen. You can call in to the show and ask the guests questions at: 1-877-367-2526 and you can get more information on the show at: http://www.foxnews.com/radio/alancolmes/. Please pray that the Truth will go forward!

I know it’s been awhile since I lasted posted on here - my apologies for that. A few weekends ago, I attended a prayer conference in Ohio. The speaker for the weekend, spoke about the power of prayer, the power of healing, and the power of our testimony. Needless to say, GOD stretched my level of faith in HUGE ways.

I’m sure we could all spend hours talking about the aspects of healing, the theology that surrounds it, and the questions that stir from this ‘hot topic’. And I’m sure we could equally discuss the levels of faith we each have; and how these levels seems to change based upon our position between the mountain and valley. Instead I want to talk about our testimony.

I have always believed that our testimony is powerful - full of “GOD-power”. I also have always believed that each one of us has a testimony, regardless of how we became a Christian. From the one who states, “I have always been a Christian” to the one who states, “I’ve been saved from the depths of hell”, if we are a Christian we have a testimony to share - because this principle rings true for all who are in CHRIST: we once were counted dead, but now we’re counted alive (Romans 6:23).

What is a testimony? In simple terms, it’s a GOD-story with untamed energy. Testimony’s proclaim the Glory of GOD, they tell of one’s journey from death to life, and they display the power of the Universe-Creator. Testimony’s rock - and if actually used, they can pin darkness down victoriously.

Now I’m sure this sounds like ’super-Christian’ jargon, but as silly as it may sound, this is truth: the power of one’s testimony is a valuable weapon. I love how Revelation 12:11 speaks about this idea of one’s testimony being a weapon:

They overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb (JESUS), and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

Recently, our church has been going through some trials and arguments - mainly dealing with GOD’S Word and homosexuality. At both meetings, I have chosen to stand and speak forth my testimony - what I know to be true. I have received many compliments, and I respond in the same manner: PRAISE GOD. My story is no more horrific than the next person’s. Yes it’s different and involves different situations; but the same power my story holds the next person’s story holds. So the focus shouldn’t be, who has the best story to share, but rather, who has the guts to share their story.

I’ll admit, I haven’t always been open to sharing my story - especially with those in the church. I was intimidated by man, and how man would reject me (or accept me) because of my testimony. In fact, it wasn’t until 2004 that I finally starting sharing my story in church interviews, applications, and with the church body. Again, I wasn’t ashamed of what GOD had brought me through, or what HE had done, but I was afraid of being rejected because I was from a ‘worser’ sin than most.

Though I have been finding quite the opposite happening. The more I am willing to forsake my own comfort and trust GOD, the more opportunities I have to share the Glory of what HE’S done … the more acceptance I am finding within the church body … the more powerful my faith has become. All of these experiences have sealed in me the belief that our testimony holds power - GOD-power. And HE’S waiting for each of us to tap into this truth.

Psalm 40 puts it this way:

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Check out that last part: many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. Why? Because when we allow ourselves to be vessels of GOD’S Glory, strange things like revival begin. When we proclaim what GOD has done in and through us, people catch a hold of that and the Kingdom of GOD comes near; the salvation of CHRIST reaches beyond our imagination.

Our stories should never be far from our lips, nor far from our hearts. The message we have within us should be the message that Glorifies HIM who has given us such a message. May the LORD continue to rise up gutsy story-tellers …