darkness.

Where do you go when darkness seems to plague the day?

When depression beats you down before you even get up; when despair overcomes the light of a new day; when troubles seem more common than hope. Where do you turn?

In the past couple of weeks, GOD has been laying on my heart the word HOPE. In my last post I touched a bit on John 16:33, a verse that is beginning to reshape my thinking about everything that happens in my life – good and bad. Truth be told, I am a depressed weakened man that strives to stay within the shadow of CHRIST each day. Some days I pass, and some days I fall further than I would like to admit. But with each time HOPE seems more within reach.

But I truly believe that GOD wants us to be in touch with our brokenness so we understand how much we need HIM for our wholeness. Likewise, HE wants us to see our darkness in order to HIS light, because no matter how dark our world becomes HIS light illuminates brighter. As Peter puts it, “GOD called you out of darkness into HIS wonderful (marvelous) light” 1 Peter 2:9.

[and so the music is cued in]

I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep.

Your love it beckons deeply,
A call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take your life.

Sin has lost its power,
death has lost its sting.
From the grave you’ve risen
VICTORIOUSLY!

Chorus
Into marvelous light I’m running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way.

My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I’m free. Now I’m free!

Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

This song by Charlie Hall sums up what Peter is saying rather well, as well as what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 …

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (our troubles). So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Sometimes the glass seems to be always half empty, and no matter how hard I try to fill it, the glass never seems full enough to satisfy my longings. But I need to remember that regardless how full the glass is, and appears to be, at least there’s water within to quench my thirst and keep me longing for more of the source.

What it means to believe in JESUS is to experience HIM as the satisfaction of my soul’s thirst and my heart’s hunger. Faith is the experience of contentment in JESUS. The fight of faith is the fight to keep your heart contented in CHRIST – to really believe, and keep on believing, that HE will meet every need and satisfy every longing.

John Piper, Battling Unbelief

GOD I need YOUR strength today, to get through what I need to get through and to conquer what comes against me. I need YOUR hope and light to keep me anchored. Thanks for providing a way.

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7 responses to “darkness.

  1. It depends on how you look at it John. I agree that sometimes we allow depression to beat us and overcome us, but then again, sometimes it comes on without warning or control.

  2. Depression does not “come on.” It is not a thing, nor is it an entity. It does not think, act or move. Once you abandon the victim language, you will begin to take control of the things you do to yourself to depress yourself.

  3. Like I said, it depends on how you look at it John. But I appreciate your thoughts and input man. Have you struggled with depression?

  4. Shawn, I used to struggle with depression. I agree with you, it depends on how you look at it. So look at it in a way that empowers you.

  5. Hi Shawn
    Many thanks for your openness in your bio and in the comments you make. I happened to come across your blog and take encouragement from your writing. The depression I can very much identify with as is probably evident in my own blog. For me it comes to be a case some days of just putting one foot after the other and moving through. Some days I can determine what the triggers may be and others it just takes me totally from left field. I know that there will be times of doubt and I sure have plenty of those and the battle can seem unsurmountable but God offers us enough grace to work through…even at times when I totally stuff up he is there and for me that is so important.My heart lies with guys wether they are straight or gay whos lives are bound up in sexual addiciton.For me I was involved in a double life as a actively gay man and on the otherhand a married father of three. The compulsive sexual aspect of my gay life just about cost me my life and this is where I have devloped my relationship with God and have continued to develop this during my last three years doing my degree. I focused on mens health and sexual issues which really was an eye opener for my tutors and colleagues but I feel that as a church…we could be doing a lot more for men regardless of wether they are in the church or not. I believe that seeds can be sown and that there is a lot of work to do out there.
    Keep up the good work.
    Blessings

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