Teens, Ex-Gays, and Change.

As promised from a previous post about redoing articles, I have re-written three popular articles.  Why?  To better clarify my point, and the objective of Six11 Ministries.  I felt that my previous articles (on these subjects) left too many questions … so hopefully these “new” articles have brought more answers than confusion.

As always, provide feedback.  If they do stir further questions, feel free to ask them (and please do).

Ministering to Gay Students … this is an actual chapter from my “up-coming-soon-to-be-released-I-need-a-publisher” book

Of all the bullying that goes on, students who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, or transgendered are the most targeted and victimized.  We have already talked about much of this conversation at the end of Chapter 1.  Still, some facts bear repeating about gay teens and their struggles in order for youth workers to fully understand why they need to get involved in a gay teens life.

Though tolerance of GLBT youth is on the rise, in some areas of the country, the overwhelming response to gay students is that of fear and hatred.  Many schools remain unsafe for gay students.  Read what two students write about their current school experience …

Read entire article

Answering the “ex-gay” question

I do not like to be called “ex-gay”.  In fact, I try not to use it in conversations.  If I do use it, though, I do so with quotes.  The term is faulty and misleading.  This is why we (Six11 Ministries) do not define ourselves as an “ex-gay” ministry.  This article attempts to re-define the word, by answering the question: What do you mean by “ex-gay”?

In today’s understanding and culture, the term “ex-gay” seems to apply total heterosexuality.  One is in no way tempted by same-sex persons.  The word itself has caused much debate and heartache.

The pro-gay side states that if someone is still attracted to the same-sex, then they are not fully healed, thus they are not truly ex-gay.  And I agree with them – to a point.  The idea that “ex-gay” equals some one turning from 100% gay to 100% straight is wrong.  The idea that “ex-gay” implies marriage and having 3.5 kids, is also wrong.  This is why the term “ex-gay” fails.

Read entire article

Answering the “change” question

The issue of “change” is as complex as every other question concerning homosexuality. There are a few misconceptions that need to be stated right off the bat.  I will briefly state them now, and then go into more discussion later …

So, then, can people “change”?  Yes, some can and do.  Some people are able to leave their same-sex attractions behind, 100%, and marry.  Others are able to deal with their attractions, and not succumb to them, and either get married or live a life of celibacy.  (If we are honest, the majority of “ex-gays” fit into this category.)  The issue of “change” is not about changing one’s sexual orientation, then, rather it is about changing how one lives their life.  See, “change” happens, for everyone, how much or how little, though, depends on the person …

A frequent question you may be thinking right about now is this: can a gay person be a Christian? So let’s talk about this, in light of what we have already been discussing.

Can a gay person be a Christian?  Yes …

Read entire article

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2 responses to “Teens, Ex-Gays, and Change.

  1. Toward the end of “Answering the ‘ex-gay’ question” you write
    “Which brings up another point people have against “ex-gay” ministries / wholeness ministries: there isn’t a 100% success rate for everyone who tries it. I alluded to this before, but I want to explain further this point. Any ministry whose objective is to help people overcome issues cannot promise 100% victory to the people participating in the ministry. Why? Because the person’s effectiveness is based solely on their own efforts they put in (or don’t put in) to overcoming their issues. Simply put: the effort you put in is the result you get out. AA meetings only work if the person is committed to change his/her drinking habits, i.e. they need to stop drinking and want to stay sober. “Ex-gay” ministries are no different. No ministry like this can claim 100% victory for 100% of their clients. So people need to stop holding them to that standard.”

    I was startled by the statement that “the person’s effectiveness is based solely on their own efforts they put in (or don’t put in) to overcoming their issues.” It seemed to imply that with enough effort one can have 100% victory. If that is what you mean, then I think you need to be clear in this context that by 100% victory you do not mean 100% heterosexuality — just as for the alcoholic 100% victory is not and end to alcoholism but an end to getting drunk (which for the vast majority means an end to drinking). I would not want someone to get the idea that they can certainly lose their same-sex attraction if they try hard enough. I know you don’t mean that either, but as written, a first-time reader might think that’s what you mean. So a reminder about what constitutes 100% victory might be good. And, at the risk of making it too long, maybe also a reminder that overcoming temptation always also requires God’s grace (which he does not refuse to those who desire it).

  2. You’re right Naturgesetz – that was not my intent. Thanks for pointing out the confusion. I re-did the ending to the article … hope it makes better sense.

    Thanks man.

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